Persons who suffer from depression and psychosis may feel guilty about everything. This makes dealing with guilt as a Christian a vital topic for those with mental health issues. The nature of psychosis and depression is to make the sufferer feel guilty about some unpardonable sin or crime they fear they committed.
Friends and other well-meaning others do not help as they may have ideas that help magnify the guilt the sick person is already feeling. They may make statements like,
‘”You need to have more faith,” or
“There must be some sin in your life that is causing you to feel like this,” or even
“If you’d commit more to the Lord, pray harder, read your Bible a lot more, deepen your walk with the Lord, this problem would disappear.”
These Christians who do not understand the nature of depression and psychosis may not be correct when they make such statements. Many people with mental illness can testify to the negative impact of such critical words.
What is Guilt?
Guilt is the feeling of having failed in something, such as an obligation or doing something wrong. It is a self-conscious emotion that a person has. People tend to feel guilty for actions they did that they deem wrong. A person’s guilt is tied to their moral code or sense of right and wrong. A person feels guilty when they believe they have done something wrong.
Guilt can be pretty uncomfortable to live with. However, it can be helpful, especially in relationships, when regret or remorse cause us to correct our bad behavior or failures. Feelings of guilt are unhelpful and particularly harmful if they are not wanted or if there is some manipulation of them.
Guilt can turn into shame, making a person feel insecure and have low self-esteem. A person may feel guilty about things they are not responsible for. For instance, a person with a mental illness may have intrusive thoughts. Such thoughts may not be their fault, but they may feel guilty.
Another example is survivor’s guilt. This type occurs when others are harmed in a tragedy, yet you survive and feel guilty. A person from a war-torn country may feel guilty because of their host country’s peace and tranquility when they consider the struggles of others at home.
Other people experience what is referred to as a guilt complex. This is when a person experiences constant guilt over harm they imagine they may have caused. Such persons live in persistent fear of doing something wrong or making a mistake. Such persons may not have done anything wrong but feel all the time that they will do something wrong.
A guilt complex generally gets associated with feelings of anxiety and shame. A guilt complex might arise from upbringing if a person is constantly criticized and never complimented. They may feel guilty for being.
What Is False Guilt?
There is a difference between actual guilt and false guilt. Actual guilt is when we do something and later feel guilty about it. False guilt is when we have not done anything wrong, yet guilt feelings overcome us.
Many people with mental illness experience both actual and false guilt. Whatever the nature of the guilt, it is often exaggerated and makes the person feel a lot of unhealthy remorse when handled wrongly.
I struggled with guilt for some time in my life. I had both actual guilt and false guilt. I would experience actual guilt whenever I reacted rashly to others or judged them harshly. But as stated, it was exaggerated and caused me feelings of unhealthy remorse that was too much.
In this case, instead of the guilt leading me to repentance and healing, it led to unhealthy feelings of unworthiness. This is a common experience for many people with mental illnesses. Yet again, other people may not help the situation when they fail to forgive or as well become judgmental.
From experience, false guilt can be painful to bear. For instance, a person with psychosis may feel guilty about things that happen in faraway places or the distant past and do not involve them. The feelings of guilt in such a case may be unbearable, and could lead to other rash actions.
Signs of Unhealthy Guilt
The effects of guilt are usually emotional, social, and psychological and are hidden in one’s actions, behavior, and mood.
Signs that a person has an unhealthy burden of guilt include the following,
- Irritability
- Sensitivity
- Being paralyzed and overwhelmed during decision-making for fear of making wrong decisions.
- Depression and anxiety
- Low self-esteem
- Being highly apologetic and clingy
- Overly esteeming others as better than self.
- Inhibition and limiting emotional expression
- Headaches
- Muscle tension
- Digestive issues, nausea, upset stomach, and stomach pains
- Tearfulness
The Case of King Saul
The first King of Israel is an excellent example of someone dealing with guilt. Saul had a problem of doing whatever he felt was best irrespective of God’s instructions.
In 1 Samuel 15-16, he was told to wipe out the Amalekite nation completely. But he disobeyed, and when confronted, he tried to manipulate things. This was not the first time he had exalted his own will above God’s instructions and tried to manipulate things to cover up his mistakes. The consequence was that he lost the Kingdom, and someone else was to be anointed King over Israel.
Saul’s heart was not right, even when he tried to apologize for his wrong behavior. His reaction of trying to spiritualize the problem and refusal to take responsibility for his actions is an excellent example of how the guilty act when they are wrong. Saul’s case illustrates a terrible way of dealing with guilt as a Christian.
When Samuel departed, Saul began to feel guilt for his actions. The Bible records what happened. The Spirit of the Lord departed from him, and a harmful spirit from the Lord began to torment him.
From the words used in the bible text, it is clear that Saul became depressed, sad, anxious, fearful, angry, and grieved. This became a mental condition that made him irrational and paranoid in his decision making and thinking.
The only thing that helped was music therapy. David, who would replace him as King, played the harp for him, and the evil spirit would leave him. Saul’s failure to deal appropriately with the guilt in his life ended in the death of his son Jonathan and his suicide.
What Causes Actual Guilt?
Actual guilt can result from sin. The Bible contains stories of those who sinned, mishandled their guilt, and experienced devastating consequences. Others handled their guilt well and received forgiveness and restoration. Here are a few stories of guilt in the Bible.
In Genesis 3: 1-13, we read how Adam suffered the devastating shame of an accusing conscience. He had sinned and mishandled his guilt. Adam had sinned by eating the forbidden fruit, and he came to know good and evil. His conscience was activated, and it tormented him.
He ran away from God. Instead of running towards God and letting God help him handle his guilt, he hid away and attempted to handle his problem alone. He made another mistake of trying to accuse his wife of causing the trouble he had. But God blamed Adam for his mistake. The story of Adam is another example of the wrong ways of dealing with guilt as a Christian.
The Bible also records the story of Cain, who killed his brother Abel. The story of Cain shows how sin progresses to guilt and then becomes depression.
In Genesis 4:1-8, Cain gives a sacrifice that is unacceptable to God. God rejects the sacrifice. Cain reacted to the rejection by God with anger and depression. He let his face ‘fall’ the bible records.
God encouraged Cain that his sacrifice would be accepted if he did the right thing but warned him that failure to repent and do the right thing would lead him deeper into sin. Cain ignored God’s warning and fell deeper into evil by murdering his brother Abel—the sinful handling of his sin sunk him deeper into sin, guilt, and depression.
2 Sam 11: 1-5 records David’s adultery with Bathsheba. David covered up his guilt by killing Uriah (2 Sam. 11:14-21). David had a guilty conscience, and when confronted about his sin, he repented. (2 Sam. 12:1-15). He wrote a psalm of praise after he received forgiveness for his transgression (Psa. 32:1-4). The reaction to his guilt illustrates the right way of dealing with guilt as a Christian.
John the Baptist (Mark 6: 17 -28) spoke against what Herod had done. He had married his brother’s wife. Herodias was not impressed with John’s condemnation of her union with Herod. They both were nursing a guilty conscience and instead of repenting, they murdered to soothe their feelings.
Judas took his own life because of his feelings of guilt feelings while Peter, on the other hand, handled his guilt differently. Peter wept bitterly and repented his denial of Jesus. He provides a perfect example of dealing with guilt as a Christian. On the other hand, Judas had an accusing conscience because he kept the money bag and often stole from it. When he betrayed Jesus, his sin turned to depression, and he killed himself.
Dealing With Actual Guilt As A Christian
When you have done wrong, instead of wallowing in guilt, making excuses, and seeking to blame others, the word commands us to accept responsibility and blame and come to the beautiful forgiveness that can be found only in Christ.
This is found in Isaiah 55:7, “Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.”
God has not created us to live with guilt which can be very destructive, especially when it includes shame. Right, dealing with guilt as a Christian is very critical. As seen in the bible stories, when guilt is not handled correctly, it can lead to a downward spiral, pushing us very far from God.
Actual guilt is designed to bring us to repentance and lead us to receive the gift of forgiveness from Christ. Colossians 2:13 gives us God’s simple and complete cure for guilt.
Christ paid the penalty for our guilt; therefore, God declares us guilt-free. Guilt is one of the causes of some mental illnesses. If it is actual guilt, we should acknowledge our mistakes and accept Christ’s debt payment. That way, unlike King Saul and other bible characters who mishandled their guilt, we can experience freedom and mental health.
All the time, all that is needed to cure guilt is acceptance of Christ’s atonement for our sins. It is a gift of forgiveness.
Dealing With Excessive And False Guilt In A Healthy Way
In some instances, you may have excessive and false guilt. In such a case, you must take a different approach to dealing with guilt as a Christian.
Here is what to do if you have excessive and false guilt.
Try meditation and prayer
Take time to think about what you are going through. Take it all to the Lord in prayer. If the guilt you feel is excessive and consumes you most of your waking hours, consider seeing a mental health specialist.
I can tell you from experience that overwhelming guilt usually indicates an underlying mental health problem.
No matter how bad you feel, do not forget to continue to treat yourself with compassion
The guilt may persist even when you have spoken to the parties you supposedly wronged. Learn to forgive yourself for the mistakes you make. Sometimes you may have a long list of people you feel you owe an apology. Talk to a mature Christian about your feelings if the list is too long. They may give you an healthy view of your feelings and what to do about them.
However, if you have a mental health illness and continue to feel guilty, suspect it is coming from the disease and talk to a mental health professional.
Seeking therapy is a healthy way of dealing with guilt as a Christian
Whether or not you have a mental health illness, your guilt may come from thoughts of failures and other experiences and events you have no control over.
If you cannot remedy a situation and have persistent guilt about it, it can negatively impact your life. For example, someone dies, and you blame yourself.
Talking to a therapist can help address the feelings of guilt that constantly consume you.